& I recently gave my Boyfriend of 4 years an ultimatum to propose at Christmas or call it quits. The closer Christmas gets, the more I hate that I even mentioned this. Help.
After reading your current dilemma, I can’t help but think of the phrase, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink!!! I want to say I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t. I have never heard of an ultimatum working. Let me put it to you this way. When he wakes up do you have to remind him to eat breakfast? Do you have to remind him it’s freezing outside, so he needs to wear a jacket? I sure hope not. If you do, you will spend the following years of your life mothering a grown man. I don’t know about you, but that isn’t something I’m willing to do, much less BEG to be given the job of.
In my opinion, you are begging for a proposal. Don’t. If he can’t see your value and wants to ask you to spend the rest of this life with him, move on. In your heart, you feel like this is the next step, so just because you are “ready” for the next step doesn’t mean he is.
I think it’s utterly ridiculous that you all have been together this long and planning for the rest of your life hasn’t come up. What do you all talk about for four years? Sports? Not much there. The Dallas Cowboys have still not won a super-bowl.
Hear me out. A Christmas proposal reminds me of every Hallmark movie. Don’t get me wrong. These are fun but are they realistic? No, because the small-town country boy never goes to the big city. He hates it there. So why would he fall in love with fancy pants, Francine? He doesn’t. It’s a fantasy in a world so far from reality it’s intriguing.
Let’s say he does propose on Christmas with all the people you love most around. How do y’all enjoy this moment? The wedding is a show and tells for y’all’s love story. Not the proposal. It should be memorable. The drive-through at Whataburger, where he first said he loved you bc it was all he could do to keep from saying it. How about the Monster truck Rally surrounded by drunken Folks whose scream for the best Truck can’t be heard over the roar of these motors? The smell of dirt, Coors, and Diesel will take you back to that particular moment.
I agree that being with someone for this long and not knowing what the future looks like would be daunting, but so does having to tell him how to love you!
Being proposed to on Christmas is like receiving roses on Valentine’s Day. Lame. Please don’t give me roses on Valentine’s Day. Everyone else in the world gets roses on Valentine’s Day. Surprise me with roses on a random Tuesday when I’ve had the most horrific Monday. Could you put some thought into it?
I leave you with this. Christmas is Jesus’s Birthday. A day to celebrate him being born to save us from burning in eternal hell. No proposal he can think of will ever compare to this gift. Please don’t make him try to top it. He won’t.
Set a time frame in your mind. June 1st sounds good. If he hasn’t proposed by then, move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Although I hear dating after 30 it like trash day and you get what you get and can’t throw a fit. There has to be someone willing to love you enough to propose without being given an ultimatum.
If you or anyone you know is looking for some VERY sassy, mildly classy advice, email me at Shawnasaveme@gmail.com Together, we can make the world a better place in the last few days of 2023.