I have a confession to make. Well, a profession of love, if you will. If you know me on any level, you know Viking-style beards are my weakness. Due to this, No shave November is my favorite month! It’s like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly right before your eyes. Facial hair is like male makeup. A beard will hide that pre-pubescent face your sweet little ole momma was quick to boast about to all of her crockpot club friends back in the day.
A beard Is the highlight and contour of the male face: a make-it or break-it staple.
I know, I know, this is super shallow of me. How rude of me to expect all men to grow facial hair that would make a Viking jealous. Please don’t get me wrong. To each her own. But a beard is more than just a wish list; it’s a “have to have” for most other women and me.
Like men, females also prefer something to be left to the imagination, but hiding a Peewee Herman face under that beard isn’t one of them.
I get it. Your genes don’t allow you to grow a beard. It’s a little splotchy, and there isn’t enough Rogaine to draw one daily. I get it. Boy, Oh boy, do I get it.
It’s like me, and being a size zero, it will not happen. I like to enjoy the finer, tastier things in life. So, I’ll stay the heavy like a Chevy, Fat girl Club president right here. As long as you keep embracing the baby smooth face.
I’m saying that just like men, we also have a type we gravitate toward. I’m not speaking for the entire female population, but when I say I have never met a Man with a frown and a killer beard, it’s because the two can’t exist. Like a sad person at a comedy club or a Dallas Cowboy fan who hasn’t said, “This is our year” when the season starts.
A man with a thick beard is a force to be reckoned with. His life might be falling apart, and you would never know because his barber edged him up so well he looks like he is ecstatic to see you.
It’s the last few days of November, and we recognize all the men who have worked so hard to grow and keep the beard on their faces. It may be a well-groomed beard that smells like driftwood and tea tree oil. One might even have a little Copenhagen mixed with it to add some pizzazz. Who am I to judge?
But a beard is a beard. No matter how short, long, maintained, worn, or prickly it may be, it still needs its month of celebration! So hold those bearded badasses a little tighter this month. Grill them a rare steak, put a couple more cans of beer in the beverage fridge, and give them a kitchen pass to hang out with the boys and celebrate. But by all means, let them know you appreciate not having to look at a face that reminds you of Peewee Herman daily.
~Shawna If you have a question you need answered send an email to shawnasaveme@gmail.com