Dear Shawna, I am a 48-year-old man who recently met a 54-yearold female at a local hole-inthe-wall restaurant. the same time.
After a recent date with this lovely lady, she started calling me “Baby”. While this seems innocent, it makes me think she is already too attached. How do I remind her it’s not serious and that a long-term relationship isn’t what I’m looking for?
Hello there, Paul the player. Lol. All jokes aside, I feel “baby” isn’t just a romantic nickname anymore. Coming from the south, I call almost everyone I speak with baby, hun, or darling at some point in our conversation. All of those typically romantic terms are now just the way I speak. I’m sure it sounds a little off-putting if you’re the person behind me at the grocery store, but it’s how I show respect or friendliness.
Maybe it’s because I hate to be called ma’am. Ma’am reminds me of an old lady who isn’t scared to take a switch off the tree and set you straight. Ma’am is a term I’m just not ready to commit to being called at 37. Don’t get me wrong, I have zero problems with grabbing a switch and lighting ya’ up if need be. I just don’t want to be called ma’am. YES, I know this is a sign of respect, so I rarely mention this weird way of thinking to anyone. Maybe in my mind, it’s the last bit of youth I have left, and ma’am just sends me right over that “old timer” mountain into being undeniably old!!!
What you should keep an eye out for is her tone when she says it. Does her voice change in the way she says, baby, or is it all monotone? Is she using it as a replacement for your actual name, or is it honestly a habit and you are just now noticing it?
Storytime: Back in my early dating days after coming out of a 10+ year marriage, I would call everyone Baby. Remind you, dating is when you get an all-access pass to date more than one person at a time. Dating is a term to replace getting to know you, so the word “baby” was a word I used to replace their actual name. This makes it convenient to communicate without having to put a ton of effort into it. Well, that sounds
I’m not looking for a serious relationship. I have never been married and have only been in a handful of serious relationships my entire life.
My job requires me to do some international traveling very frequently and It would be almost impossible to excel at my job and a relationship at terrible now that I think about it.
This is also why I don’t accept the word “Baby” as a term of endearment. How many people have you called baby in your lifetime? Way too many to list. What would set you apart from the “baby” she dated last year?
Back to the real problem at hand. I would just be honest. Remind her that this relationship has no potential to be anything more than a couple of casual friends, hanging out in their free time.
At 54 years old, I would think she is extremely comfortable in being “single” and isn’t out here pounding the pavement looking for her next potential husband.
Next time y’all hang out, I would ask her what her expectations are of y’all’s arrangement. If she is in fact looking for her happily ever after, this is a perfect time to tell her you are more than willing to step aside and let her search continue elsewhere.
In relationships, honesty is always best. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me what you know and feel to be true.
And your truth is that you don’t want a long-term commitment. There is nothing wrong with that, and you do not need to apologize for that. If I was her. I would much rather know this information right out of the gate.
Hit me with the truth and never kiss me with a lie! I can get over the shock of a hit faster than the shock of a lie you told me with a kiss.